For several years, I believed that Justin and I had managed to create a nearly perfect family. First, we were blessed with a beautiful and brilliant daughter who has proven that God can take a mother's and father's genes and create someone more amazing than either parent could ever hope to be. Then, a super nova ray of light and energy burst into our lives and we called him Charlie. We have said to each other every day for the last nine years, "We are blessed, blessed, blessed."
If you had told me six months ago that we would now be on a journey to adopt another child, that that child would be in China, and that our Chinese baby would be a boy....I would have laughed. Like Sarah laughed at the angels. For years we had talked about adoption, but then ended up dismissing the idea as too much for our family to take on at the time. Time, time, time. We thought one day it would be time, but just not this moment. I would sometimes bring it up to Justin and he would respond with, "I'm not ready. Not yet." And so I prayed. I prayed that God would either take away my desire to adopt a child, or that God would very clearly let Justin know when the time was right. I must have prayed this prayer a thousand times and eventually thought that it just wasn't going to happen. Then, one Sunday morning, Justin caught me looking at adoption websites and said, "I'm ready. I think it is time and I am 100% on board. BUT- you have to finish your master's degree first." (My Master of Theological Studies Degree that I began in 1999!) If I needed any motivation to get my thesis done, there it was! In truth, Justin has his own story of God speaking to him in a very real and profound way, telling him that it was time for us to adopt. However, it is his story and not mine to tell. Just know that God answered my prayers and there were no longer any doubts, it was time.
Adoption. What a huge thing! There are so many types of adoption. So many places to adopt from. So many children with so many needs. Where should we start? Fostering? Domestic? International? Which country? Infant? Older child? Siblings? Special needs? At first, the choices seemed too overwhelming. We talked and read and prayed and did something many parents don't do- we talked to our children. We quickly realized that they were excited about the idea of another sibling, but not someone older than them or the same age. (Adopting out of birth order is a controversial issue in and of itself.) One child would be ok, but not two or three. We looked at domestic infant adoptions. We looked at foster-adopting. But, for reasons that are somewhat personal, we did not feel led clearly to either one.
That is when we stumbled upon China's Special Needs adoption program. I had not looked at China at first because I knew that their adoptions had slowed down dramatically over the last few years. Couples have been waiting in line for over six years to adopt healthy baby girls. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that there are thousands of Chinese children in need of families who have medical needs. These "special needs" vary and range from severe neurological defects to cleft lips and cleft palates to limb defects to congenital heart defects. I was even more surprised to realize that the children most in need of adopting families are boys with special needs. For some strange reason, most of the families adopting from China, even through the special needs program are requesting only girls. It is like a reverse gender preference which leaves orphaned boys waiting much longer than little girls for their forever families.
Through a long series of discussions and research and prayers, we decided that we would begin the journey to adopt a child from China. We are requesting a boy under the age of two. As of now, we are requesting a child with a congenital heart defect. (Though I think this is not something that is completely set in stone.) We are going to call him Carter- a name his sister picked out but one we all agree is perfect.
Why are we adopting? Because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. God's love is not a warm fuzzy feeling. God's love is not red hearts and roses and chocolate candy. God's love is Spirit-Fire. God's love has transformed our hearts, igniting in us a passion for orphans and a desire to share the love and hope and joy of Christ with another child. God has changed my heart in so many ways these last few months and I believe that many more changes are on the horizon. I no longer look at our "picture perfect" family and think we are complete. I see the blurry image of our son in the corner of my eye and I know that God has bigger plans than we could have every imagined. We are blessed, but God's blessings flow like a river, shifting and moving us always to new places.
