When we first announced our decision to adopt, the most common question we received from well meaning friends and loved ones (and not-so-loved-ones) was, "And how do Camdyn and Charlie feel about all this?" Implied within the question was often not so masked concern that by adding another child to our family, one who comes from an unknown place with an unknown history, we were jeopardizing the well being of the children we already do have. Sometimes I wish we could just put a sign around Camdyn and Charlie that says something like, "Our family is doing something out of the norm, but we are happy, well adjusted, and thriving. Really, we are alright." Adoption is a long (very long) process and we are blessed with time to nurture and prepare our little ones for what lies ahead.
In the midst of paperwork, home study visits, and adoption training, we are busy with all the business of raising a family. Our summer has been filled with swimming, camping, swimming, vacation, and more swimming. As far as our adoption timeline, we are scheduled to have our final home study visit in two weeks. After that, we wait for our social worker to complete the home study and then we rush, rush, rush to get our I-800 application sent to U.S. Immigration for clearance stating that we are approved to adopt a child from China. Then we rush, rush, rush to get our dossier certified and sent to China. This entire journey is a lot of rush, rush, rushing, then wait, wait, waiting. Every so often, I start to feel a sense of urgency. A voice that says, "Move faster, hurry up."
Then I remember that we promised ourselves from the beginning that we would place this entire adventure in God's hands. Which means that, for us, every step and every mis-step is under under the umbrella of Grace, is part of our dance with the Divine, and will lead us to the endpoint, which will also be the beginning point of our new life as a family. My favorite line from T.S. Eliot (my favorite poet) is this- "Except for the point, the still point, there would be no dance, and there is only the dance." So, in this dance of mine, I am looking always for the still points. Snorkeling side by side with Camdyn, watching her discover the beauty of the sea, that was a still point. Riding bikes with Charlie, while he lectured me on my fossil fuel consumption, that was a still point. Deciding on a hot day, that ice cream must be had immediately, so pull over Daddy at the very next place you see, that is a still point.
And then when we pick up and move again, back into real life with a little boy and a little girl who simultaneously love and loath each other, and we go, go, go from one activity to another, I remember the rest of my dear Mr. Eliot's words, "Love is itself unmoving, only the cause and the end of movement." And so we keep moving towards China.
