Extravagant Love

 This is extravagant love-

~Not complaining when dinner is late, boring, repetitive, totally disgusting, or not even on the table.  You keep the pizza delivery numbers on speed dial. All I have to say is, “P…?” and you’ve already placed our order. 

(Love is patient.)

~Getting the two big kids ready for school and out the door while keeping the littlest kid quietly entertained so that mommy can get just a few more hours of sleep after her long night spent with sick little ones in the hospital. 

(Love is kind.)

~Watching yet another episode of Outlander, even though you could care less if Claire ever makes it back to the 20^th century or if Jamie is or is not her soul mate.

(Love is not self-seeking.)

~Acting shocked and incredulous when I tell you I have lost almost twenty pounds in the last year and then saying, “Well your body has always looked the same to me- perfect.”

(Love keeps no record of wrongs.)

~Putting up with my latest crazy obsession and not pointing out that it is, in fact, a crazy obsession.  Like urban homesteading.  I know, the idea of me milking goats and keeping bees in the back yard made you want to scream….or laugh…or both. 

(Love does not dishonor others.)

Remember how smug we were when we planned our wedding ceremony and declared, “We aren’t using that scripture from 1 Corinthians 13.  Those verses are over used and not really about marriage, anyways.”  We thought we knew better.  Looking back, though, I think we missed the point.  Marriages begin for millions of reasons, but a good marriage is about nothing other than this: trusting in God, holding fast to the One who is our hope, and learning how to love extravagantly. 

None of these things I just listed would have made my list of what defines true love when we were younger and had more energy, more time, less money, and less wounded hearts.  Back when we were these babies...

 I didn’t know that love would look like this and I’m glad I didn’t know, because learning how to love and be loved are lessons meant to be learned along the way- especially love that grows from grace.  

This is my secret- you have always been my touchstone to grace.  During those awful, miserable, almost too much to handle years, when I was angry with God for all the things He hadn’t done and all the ways He hadn’t saved me from myself, I even told you the scariest secret of all: that I had lost my faith all together.  I thought you would be angry, but you stayed calm, let me wrestle with the darkness of doubt, and held tightly to Jesus for both of us until I found the answers I needed.  Giving your wife room to doubt, room to change, and room to grow-now that is love in its most extravagant form.  It sounds silly, but it is true: grace brought me to you, and time and time again, you have brought me back to grace.  

“Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.

 And the best of the three is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:13 (MSG)