For My Daughter As She Walks Through the Valley of Middle School

I’m not going to lie.  It took all my mommy powers to put on a brave face and tell you over and over again, “You are going to love middle school!  You already have so many friends and you will make new friends super fast.  You won’t have any problems figuring out lockers and schedules and where to sit in the lunchroom.”  Secretly, though, I knew you were walking into a virtual minefield.  That’s what middle school is these days, especially for girls.  I’ve worried about your tender heart and your overwhelming shyness around strangers and how you would cope with mean girls and fickle boys.  I’ve always thought that your biggest struggle would be that everyone will want to be your friend but you will believe no one likes you.  I prayed down angel armies over you time and time again this summer as the start of school came near.  Every day I have asked God for one thing- a confidence in yourself that cannot be shaken.  The same fearless confidence that sent you climbing trees when you were little-

I think of confidence as a shield around your heart, something that will protect you from all of the attacks on your self-esteem that every young girl faces day to day as she walk the halls of middle school.  Pressure to look a certain way.  Pressure to be cute and sweet and popular.  Pressure to impress a boy.  I often see girls just a little older than you whose lives become completely derailed because they lost their identity in a series of one bad choice after another.  I see their hearts broken by boyfriends who leave them hurting and lost in more ways than your young mind can imagine.  I see their self worth tied to how many friends they have on Facebook or followers on Instagram.  I see them utterly destroyed by one inappropriate picture gone viral.  It is sad to see the way that they have lost their confidence in themselves.  They no longer believe that they can accomplish their dreams.  They have often forgotten how to dream.

This is why your dad and I get up every morning in the summers to take you to swim practice.  Why we spent long Saturday mornings cheering you on while you raced.  Why we drive you to soccer practice and celebrate every time you push a girl out of the way to go after the ball and shout, "Way to be aggressive, Camdyn!" Why we really don’t care if your team wins, just as long as you love the game and keep that fierce look on your face every time you play.  What you don’t know is that we have been investing in your confidence since the day you were born.  Bit by bit, we have been building it up like currency.  Saving it up for days like these.

See that confidence, shimmering under your smile?

So, it should not have been a big surprise when you came home from school on the first day with a smile on your face and declared, “I think I’m going to love middle school.”   I said you would, didn’t I?  Every day you bounce in the door with a new accomplishment, “Mom! I made an A+ on my math test!”  Of course you did, I want to say, math is your thing.  What has been surprising and perhaps a miracle is that the place where your confidence has soared the most has been gym class.  Who knew middle school PE would build your confidence so much?  First you came home proud as a pea about how fast you ran the mile.  Then, there was the day you came home beaming, “I beat everyone in my pacer test! Even all the boys!”  Last night, when you were talking about how many “legit” pushups you did in class, I said, “I bet you never realized just how strong you are.”  Your response? “No, I never realized just how AWESOME I am!”

That’s it Baby Girl.  Right there.  I wish I could put it in a bottle for you.  Freeze these moments of pure confidence for a rainy day.  There will be rainy days.  You already spend a little too much time worrying about your outfits and your hair.  I’ve even caught you sneaking out the door with makeup on. (Makeup!!??)  But right now, you see your body as something to be celebrated not for how it looks but for what it can do.  You are strong.  You are fast.  You outrun the boys.  And you love yourself for it. 

You know how we like to read your favorite Psalm together sometimes?  You say that you don’t know why, but it makes you feel calm.   

  

“God, my shepherd!


I don’t need a thing.


You have bedded me down in lush meadows,


you find me quiet pools to drink from.


True to your word,


you let me catch my breath


and send me in the right direction.

Even when the way goes through


    Death Valley,


I’m not afraid


when you walk at my side…

Your beauty and love chase after me


every day of my life.”

Psalm 23 (MSG)

Know this, Baby Girl- God walks with you through every valley- even middle school.  Especially middle school!  God’s beauty and God’s love will be chasing you, pursuing you, and seeking you around every corner.  Look for it.  I promise you will find it.  You already know you are awesome, but the only way for your confidence to be unwavering is for it to be rooted deep in God’s love.  So, I’ll keep praying and you keep running fast, and we will trust God to take care of the rest.